Review: Apes Victorious

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Apes Victorious is a new release by Daniel Proctor of Labyrinth Lord and Mutant Future fame. It’s an unlicensed Planet of The Apes RPG with OSR rules and altered fluff. It apparently uses the same rules as Starships & Spacemen 2e. I’ll just lay it out right upfront; there’s nothing in this book that impresses me.

Classes and races use a combination of requirements and ability score adjustments. The classes are Astronaut, Bonobo Agent (spies), Chimpanzee Scholar, Gorilla Soldier, Humanoid (devolved humans), Orangutan Politician, and Underdweller (psychic mutant humans). Aside from Bonobos and Underdwellers these are all too on-the-nose for me. Race-as-class seems to be here just for the sake of race-as-class. Compare this to Terra Primate, which presents the possibilities of chimpanzee soldiers and orangutan merchants in its pastiche of Planet of The Apes.  It also generally suggests that gibbons could be an underclass above humans but below the great apes.

Mechanics-wise this is pretty close to Labyrinth Lord. Each class has a static to-hit number based on class; enemy armor imposes a penalty to the roll. For example, any 1-HD character hits if he rolls 12 or more on a 1d20 but gets -2 on the roll if his enemy is wearing kevlar. Wisdom becomes PSI which measure Psionic potential. Psionics are a simple (disappointingly so) point-based system. There aren’t wild talents or psionic combat here.

Lore-wise it does offer some decent new ideas. Bonobos as spies/thieves. Cryogenically preserved humans that escaped the nuclear holocaust of the 1970s. The biggest divergence from the source material is with the Underdwellers. They’re like a bit like Richard Sharpe Shaver’s dero; twisted but brilliant, with incredible technology such as lasers, cloth as damage-resistant as metal, and infiltrator robots with organic ape components (yes, that’s a Terminator reference).

I’ll admit that I might be a little harsh. I’m judging it against Terra Primate, a non-OSR book that tackles the same genre for only 3 cents more.  The only thing Apes Victorious has going for it is the OSR/OGL compatibility with Labyrinth Lord and Mutant Future. Terra Primate by itself can do everything that Apes Victorious + Labyrinth Lord + Mutant Future can do with the exception of the high-tech Underdweller stuff, which it would need to use the compatible All Tomorrow’s Zombies for.

I’d rate Apes Victorious a 3/5 at best.

Spicing up "The Lost Temple of Demogorgon"

"The Lost Temple of Demogorgon" is an adventure module that appeared in Dungeon magazine #120. In it, the PCs discover an ancient jungle temple filled with awakened animals and a ~s~p~o~o~k~y~ demonic anvil.

This module has a number of things I like:

• Apes as enemies
• Demogorgon, the best archfiend
• Jungle-choked temples
• More apes

Yet despite all that, there's a certain something missing. I can't exactly put it into words: I should really like this adventure but it seems so bland. I've got a few ideas on how to spice it up though. As a caveat, although I'm writing about a D&D 3.5 adventure, I absolutely hate the system and would be extremely unlikely to run it in 3.5.

•  Instead of having the Dwarven miners report the sightings of "Ogres", the three local Dwarven chaplains secretly reported to their superiors, who then contacted allied nobles/merchants who hired the PCs
• The actual bosses of the mining operation are trying to cover up the incident using their "peacekeepers" - hired mercenaries who make sure the miners obey the bosses
• Finding out the exact details of the sightings therefore requires convincing a miner or two to risk their jobs by telling and possible confrontations with the bosses' mercs
• The awakened apes are cool but I want something even cooler. In addition to battle-armed awakened apes there are also battle-armed awakened deinonychus (type of velociraptor). Everything is better with dinosaurs.
• Awakened monkeys to back up the other troops with blowdarts and slings
• Replace the Troglodytes with something more exotic. I'm not sure with what but I definitely don't want "stinky Lizardfolk" as the a central focus.
• The temple guardians don't wield and the Dread Forge don't create steel weapons and armor. These items should instead be made from bronze or, for a more flavorful touch, stone, bone, and hides.
• Speaking of the Dread Forge, it looks incredible dopey. Instead, the Dread Forge is massive combination altar/statue with a 10-foot tall idol of Demogorgon behind the 10 ft x 10 ft square "altar". Both heads of the idol have rubies as eyes. Naturally, removing these cursed rubies is a bad idea. 

Going Ape in Fantasy: More D&D/Pathfinder Monsters.

I previously talked about the notable fiendish apes of D&D, and now I'm going to summarize some the mortal(?) simian monsters of D&D (and some Pathfinder monsters too).

Ahuizotl
Based on Central American legends, the Ahuizotl is an ampihbious and very evil monkey-dog-thing with a claw on the end of its tail. Interestingly, the first D&D version of the Ahuizotl in the Maztica setting is more of an anthropomorphic crocodile.

Alaghi
Goat-horned temperate-environment cousins of the Yeti that look sinister as fuck. They are actually rather peaceful though.

Ba'atun
Evil bat-winged baboons rumored to be from an parallel icy parallel world. They are practically immune to cold. From an obscure UK module called Dark Clouds Gather.

Blood Apes
Despite their name, blood apes are actually peaceful sapient creatures: the name comes from their bright red fur. The alpha male of the a pack can use an "animal growth" ability on himself, perhaps the best phallic joke in all of D&D.

Charau-ka 
From Pathfinder. These guys are basically more upright and (barely) murderous versions of chimpanzees. They're advanced enough to make leather armor though.

Chemosit 
It seems that someone was a big fan of the Gorilla-bear below and basically ended up copying it while adding in a brain-eating ability. Bravo, game designers!

Cloaked Ape
Technically more like monkeys, these creatures have raccoon tails and leathery skin-flaps they use to glide/fly.

Dakon 
Law-abiding, common-speaking, sapient apes. Come on, 3rd party publishers, this is AD&D Fiend Folio-tier.
...
After the last sentence, I flipped through the AD&D Fiend Folio and the Dakon was in it. Get your shit together, 3rd party publishers.

Forestkith Goblins
Like regular Goblins but hairier and and better at climbing. They also tend to knuckle-walk.

Feylaar
From the post-apocalyptic world of the Dark Sun campaign setting, these evil four-armed psychic gorillas have exposed brains. Despite being evil they seem to have a rather loving and egalitarian family life.

Gambol
Big blue baboons with a spooky howl and lots of speed.

Gibberling
Furry hunched humanoids. They have no language but communicate via hoots and howls.

Girallon
Four-armed albino gorillas.

Girallon, Anghazani 
Smart four-armed albino gorillas with swords.

Gorilla-Bear 
"These monsters have the head, body and legs of a gorilla with the sharp teeth and powerful arms of a bear."

Hadozee
Often called "winged deck apes", these simian humanoids are often sailors and pirates.

Hengeyokai, Monkey
A D&D monster and a player character race in Pathfinder that can assume Human, monkey, and monkey-faced Human/hybrid forms.

Horrid Ape
Part of a broad class of Druid-created living weapons, this giant gorilla has red scales, lots of fangs, spikes, horns, and a tail. Their claws also secrete acid. Talk about overkill...

Howler Wasps
Baboons + wasps = horrifying

Hsing-sing
These white-furred apefolk have Human faces. Despite personifying "the principles of pacifism and harmony with nature", once every year they go apeshit* and murder a whole bunch of people.

*I had to say it :^)

Hulking Growler
A creature that's a cross between an ape and a caveman, from the licensed Kingdoms of Kalamar setting for D&D 3.5. They're gender egalitarians! Also, if you kill a Hulking Growler's mate then be prepared for relentless murderous revenge.

Julajimus
A gigantic freaky black-furred baboon with a rat's tail. It can shapeshift into rabbits, puppies, kitties, or other fuzzy wuzzy animals, an ability which it uses to eat children.

Kech
There are two types of Kech: One is from D&D and is monkey-like, the other is from Pathfinder and is ape-like. Both have weird leaf-like skin that functions as camouflage. D&D Kechs are predators that stick to jungles; PF Kechs are more likely to stray from their territory. PF Kechs also have a taboo against eating apes and monkeys.

Lhosk
A sapient tauric creature with the upper body of a gorilla and the lower body of a spider. Strangely, the Monster Manual III doesn't mention Driders (evil Elf-Spider creatures) in their description. Drider-Lhosk interactions could prove very interesting indeed.

Limbo Stalker
A beast from the plane of Limbo, it's described as an "anthropomorphic serpent" but is really just a gorilla with some scales and an ugly face.

Monkey Goblin 
Like regular Goblins but with more hair and monkey tails. They're also not spineless cowards, unlike their common cousins.

Monkey Spiders
1-inch tall monkeys. They are also sapient, Good-aligned, and their bites are poisonous.

Quaggoth
White-furred ape-men that dwell underground.  They also hate surface-dwelling Elves for some reason. 3rd edition made them look a little more like bear-people.

Saqualaminoi
These guys are "Yeti-kin". They're rather well-adjusted tribal carnivores who surprisingly don't eat humanoids. They're also immune to cold.

Sasquatch
A Pathfinder-only race as far as can tell, these creatures are based on pop culture Bigfoot with some skunk ape and weird hippie vibes thrown in.

Shadowperson
Supposedly resembling "thin, gangly apes", these guys look more like really hairy Orcs. They are also mildly psychic and can have ESP. Also, more skin-flaps for gliding.The can also create a friendly psychic ghost-monster called a Revered Ancient One that's an omega-level healbot.

Skindancer
Imagine a shaved gorilla with a lizard face and magic chitin armor. Wizards truly have no sense of right and wrong.

Snow Goblin
White-furred variants of the average Goblin that dwell in cold areas. Look like ugly tailless monkeys.

Spirit of the Air
Golden monkeys with freaky arm-wings that serve gods of air. They cast spells like Clerics and can transform into a whirlwind once per day.

Su-Monster
Big gray psychic monkeys.

Taer
Clan-based apefolk similar to cavemen. Dwell in cold mountain regions. Very low tech levels.

Tall Mouther
A creature that looks like a tusked gorilla head with six arms sprouting from it. It eats Halflings/Hobbits.

Umber Hulk
One of the "iconic" D&D, it's especially evident in older edition art that Umber Hulks are insectoid apes.

Vanara 
Extroverted monkeyfolk from Oriental Adventures. They get along with every except Evil beings.

Warforged Charger
Magic robot gorillas.

Wendigo
Not exactly simian, this creature is a fey/fairy equivalent of a werewolf. A terrible flying hunger spirit that flies through the air, instilling madness and paranoia into its prey.

Yeti 
White-furred ape-people of the cold mountains. They are invisible if even lightly covered in snow or ice and their fur drains the heat out of living creatures, making them a weird heat-vampire-ape. 

Going Ape in Fantasy: Sinister Simian Spirits of Dungeons & Dragons

As the first major hit of the roleplaying game industry, Dungeons & Dragons has always been expanding through new editions and supplements (aka "splats"). Those expansions have introduced a number of primate monsters over the years. Most are mundane or mortal: A notable few are not. They are fiends, a broad classification in D&D that describes evil "outsiders" like demons, devils, demodands, and daemons. Curiously, all of these ape-like fiends are demons, beings of chaos and evil shaped by mortal evil according to some versions of D&D's fluff. So let's take a look at these abyssal apes:

The Big Kahuna

Demogorgon: Pictured above, Demogorgon is the self-styled "Prince of Demons" who keeps the title by sheer virtue (vice?) badassitude. He is one of the "Big Three" archfiends of D&D, joined by his fellow Eldritch Wizardry alumni Orcus and AD&D's Graz'zt. Despite his baboon/mandrill heads, his only worshipers in older editions (circa AD&D and earlier) were very rarely evil Humans and most commonly Ixitxachitl, sapient evil manta rays with occasional vampirism thrown in. During this time period he also had a strong vampiric theme (because of the Ixitxachitl) which was later dropped and he once changed sex for no discernible reason in the Immortals boxed set.  The 3rd edition of D&D added Lizardfolk and Yuan-ti (evil snake people) to his list of followers, then obliquely hinted that he has a jungle of apes and monkeys in his home realm but never actually bothered to talk about them or really detail any simian cults of Demogorgon. The only instance I could find was the Dungeon #120 adventure "The Lost Temple of Demogorgon" written by Sean K. Reynolds; in features several awakened (magically sapient) gorillas, giant gorillas, a baboon sorcerer, and a baboon priest. I'm utterly at a loss as to why D&D keeps focusing on his amphbious/reptilian qualities while ignoring his simian qualities...

One last note on Demogorgon is that his two heads have different personalities: Aameul (right) is suave and cunning while Hethradiah (left) is savage and simplistic. Both heads hate each other and are constantly scheming on how to separate/kill the other without dying in the process.

Smaller, but still rather Large, Kahunas

 

Angazhan: A huge, horned gorilla with a tail who rules over a horde of vicious demon apes in the Abyss while his cult thrives in the deep jungles of the mortal world. He's actually from Pathfinder,  but PF is just a D&D clone so it seems fitting to mention him. He also the king of the Baregara and several mortal ape-like races.

Fraz-Urb'luu/Var-Az-Hloo: Not technically an ape but "ape-like", Frazzy is the demon prince of deception, which for some reason means that he could summon other demon princes willy-nilly to his castle to humiliate them. Tired of his shit, several demon lords gave a crazy Human wizard some kinda magic sword and he whupped Frazzy's ass and sealed him in a bas-relief on a dungeon wall. He later escaped thanks to dumbass adventurers and now hates Humans. He's traditionally an enemy of Demogorgon.

Ilsidahur: A huge, horned gorilla with a tail who rules over a horde of vicious demon apes in the Abyss while his cult thrives in the deep jungles of the mortal world... In case you didn't notice, Pathfinder basically ripped off Ilshiadur to make Angazhan. They're even both lords of similar-sounding demon types (Bar-Lgura and Baregara). One thing that distinguishes him from Angazhan is that in his original Dungeon incarnation he also has necromantic powers that can only be used on apes. He also has a greedy streak and an eye for bronze.

Mandrillagon: Demogorgon's "brother" from Gary Gygax's Gord the Rogue novels is technically speaking not a D&D entity since TSR rendered Gygax's books non-canon when they fired him. He's basically a giant ape with a blue mandrill face. He really seems like a huge pansy despite his huge stature. HE'S UNABLE TO CONTROL HIS SPEECH VOLUME SO HE'S ALWAYS YELLING. He also secretly hates Demogorgon.

The Mooks:

 

Bar-lgura: Pronounced "Bar-le-goo-ra" because Gygax was whacky like that, these demons started out as six-fingered, sinister orangutans before turning into something closer to a musclebound gorilla with tusks. They are canonically the thralls of Ilshiadur but since he's a z-list demon lord Demogorgon tends to have more of them. The Barry-Gra are also telepathic.

Baregara: From Pathfinder, these giant horned gorilla-demons have an extra mouth on their chests for maximum rip n' tear potential. They are thralls of Angazhan. Seem like ideal shock troopers/scouts for a simian demon army.

Nalfenshnee: Giant ape-pig-demon things with tiny wings, the Nalfenshnee are the judges of the Abyss...don't ask me how beings of undiluted malevolent chaos can have a judicial system because I don't have an answer. Compared to the two BGRAs above, the Nalfs are a bit more magical even if they do pack a physical punch. They're also fat. 

Going Ape in Fantasy: Egypt

Welcome to the first installment of a semi-regular feature on the blog! I really like the concept of intelligent apes in roleplaying games (and if you do too then I advise you to buy a copy of Terra Primate asap ;) ). In this feature I will detail some Ape/Monkey-related fluff or lore.

Egypt apparently had several Baboon gods, among them the (NSFW) Babi/Baba, Hapi, and Astennu. Thoth also apparently got in on the act every once in a while as well.

So, let's look at the pieces we've got: grayish noble/ruler baboons; normal(ish) baboons; dog-headed apes.

A question before going forward is how anthropomorphized the baboons should; I lean toward "moderately', that is about 4 feet tall and quite capable of standing upright in a hunched manner. Real baboons are pretty violent but wouldn't work with a faux-Egypt setting unless they just took over the ruins, so I'd tone down the overt violence. Brutal formal duels/brawls would be an interesting way of conveying a strict hierarchical society with big anger issues.

As for magic, using Egyptian-inspired sun/star magic doesn't seem to particularly "feel" right with these horrible Egyptian baboons. Earth and water magic, focusing on stability, life, and fertility seem much more flavorful.

As for the "dog-headed" apes, they could just be an animal or a barely sapient race. Used as beasts of burden in peaceful times and war-beasts in war times (Bet you didn't see that coming!)

If an equivalent to Arabia exists and this Baboonian Egypt is as well-known as the real Egypt then there's really no way to make this revelation surprising unless the general character of the world is an insular/xenophobic one and the players are trailblazers.